ryanchristiankwanten:

Ryan shook her head and sat back down. “If I came to you and told you I was having feelings for another girl right now, could you just forget it? I need you to be sure Deb. I need you to know without a shadow of a doubt that this is what you want. Because there’s no going back after this. We’ll be married.”

She shook her head, “No I wouldn’t be able to forget it. But then again I’m a girl and neurotic.” she smiled a little. Deb looked him in the eye and said, “I am sure, Ryan. This was never about me not being sure. I don’t even know what this was all about. I never intended to even say anything, ever, but then the gossip blog started saying things and Joe’s very persistent when he wants to know something.” The word divorce flashed in her mind at his last comment but she wasn’t about to bring that up. She would never go into a marriage anticipating divorce. “I, Deborah Ann Woll, am one hundred and ten percent sure that I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with you, Ryan Christian Kwanten.”

joethewolf:

Joe listened as she spoke and ate his donut, humming once he swallowed. Debs made a point and hella sure he felt the same thing. He loved Beth, he was utterly in love with her and she was the only one who he could imagine his future with. However, he still had his feelings for certain girls, because of several other reasons. For example, he fancied Debs ever since they met, she was funny, their way of thinking was familiar, they just simply went well together. And it made him feel guilty because if he was about to make a huge step like that, getting into a committed and serious relationship, he shouldn’t have had feelings for any other girl.

“I love the girls with lack of self control.” He said jokingly, with a playful expression though in that exact situation a part of him wasn’t joking. Damn, sure it was hard to look but not touch… Then he tilted his head at sides, pretending as if he was so serious, eyes locked on her, gaze floating from her eyes to her lips. “Then you’ll never know why do I love you.”

“Lack of self control is what gets the girls in trouble.” she smirked and winked, “Boys too.” she wasn’t really hungry, her stomach being very unsettled around Joe lately, so she hadn’t touched any of the donuts. She just sat there drinking her coffee, knowing that as soon as it was gone it was time for her to go home. There was a part of her that wanted to leave a sip in the cup forever. “Will you please tell me?” she fluttered her eyelashes at him and smiled seductively. Careful idiot, you’re walking a fine line. she thought to herself

ryanchristiankwanten:

Ryan shook his head and got up from the couch and started pacing. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do Deb. I love you and you know that. But if you’re not sure about this then we can wait. I don’t want go through all of this for you to change your mind. I’m not walking away but I don’t know what you want from me right now. You just told me you were having feelings for someone else. Another one of my friends and co-workers. I can’t go down this road with you again Deb. My parents are flying in next week. I just.. I don’t know.”

“Forget I said anything then.” she moved to sit on the couch when he got up. “Pretend the last five minutes never happened, okay. We’re getting married on the seventeenth and nothing is going to change that. I’m not leaving you, I’m not cheating on you.” she wiped a falling tear off of her face and shrugged, “Just forget this conversation ever happened.”

ryanchristiankwanten:

Ryan looked up at her and and shook his head. “Feelings always matter Deb. You’re sitting here telling me you’re in love with him but that you have feelings for one of my best friends. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was some stranger on the street but it had to be him didn’t it.” He loved her but he didn’t know how she expected him to be okay with the fact she was having feelings for his friend when they were supposed to be getting married. “What does this mean Deb? Are we still getting married?”

“I don’t want to lie to you, I did it before and it didn’t turn out very well. I’m sorry, I know that probably doesn’t help right now, but I am.” she looked down and started to cry. “I guess that depends on you. I know what I want and I know who I want to spend my life with. I know I’m a mess and have so many issues so I’ll understand if it’s too much for you to handle. I want to marry you, Ryan, but I’ll understand if you choose to walk away.” this was killing her, saying those words were killing her. She wasn’t lying, she would understand but that didn’t mean she wanted him to walk out on her again.

joethewolf:

Joe laughed bitter, shaking his head. “Nobody wants to break their heart purposely.” He shrugged, taking a few bites while Debs was talking, and he drank what’s left of his cup of coffee by taking a huge gulp. “Debs, don’t get me wrong, Ryan is my friends and he’s a great guy, but if you feel like that, something must be wrong with him too. Maybe he’s just not the one.” He shrugged, sighing. “I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.” Then he tilted his head to the side, smiling. “In that case, go ahead and tell my why do you love me.”

Deb shook her head, “When Ryan broke up with me I was devastated. I didn’t want to get out of bed for days. I don’t know how I managed to be on set and do scenes with him and remain in one piece. The guilt of cheating on him and the fact that I actually lost him was the reason why I started drinking. I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anybody but him, but at the same time I can imagine myself having relationships of some kind with other people. Not a lot of other people, but more than I probably should. I know people always say it’s okay to look but just don’t touch, but I have touched before and I really am afraid that one day I’m going to again. I just lack the self control for a committed relationship I guess.” she sighed and to herself she silently thought that maybe Ryan would be better off with someone less complicated.

She looked at Joe and smiled her famous grin, “Where’s the fun in telling you? I think it’s better just to let you always wonder why.”

joethewolf:

debsie-ann:

How are you today?

Busy? At least I don’t have to work. You should feel awesome for not needing to spend all your time there, Bonnie.